I did this just for fun and found most of the results funny, some hilarious, and some offensive and controversial.

However, all of them have a reason for being there – statistics. It's what people search for. The cream of the crop. Stereotypes, hilarities, it's all here.

If you can, please don't take them too close to heart. In fact, if you're a righteous conservative thinking of lecturing me, do me a favor and close this page now.

So here goes.

Why Are?..

"Why are canadians"

Afraid of the dark? – I didn't know that, thanks Google.

"Why are brazilian"

Agreed.

"Why are swedish"

Also agreed.

"Why are irish"

Heh.

"Why are palestinians"

"Why are israeli"

Another

And the women… true again.

"Why are mexican"

Ouch.

"Why are hawaiians"

I can think of a few reasons.

"Why are germans"

I can attest to the rude part.

"Why are italians"

We've all seen the movies.

"Why are japanese"

Have you seen a non-weird Japanese video?

"Why are chinese"

The truth is there somewhere.

"Why are russians"

Very observational.

"Why are koreans"

Starcraft – so true.

"Why are british"

This is hilarious.

"Why are spanish"

100% correct.

"Why are polish"

This one was frankly news to me. Poor Polish people.

"Why are indians"

Indians are afraid of dogs?

"Why are armenians"

I've never seen a non-hairy Armenian.

And something more generic, without comments.

"Why are white"

"Why are black"

"Why are asians"

And something more local.

"Why are new yorkers"

"Why are texans"

Of course I saved the best for last:

"Why are americans"

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So, I just got me a new phone that I've wanted for a long time – HTC Hero running the Android OS.

It's a great phone, no doubt, but I think mine has homosexual inclinations.

Bad Android. Bad.

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And some more traveling down the Perl related memory lane (yeah, these are old, I know):

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Allow me to introduce LOLCODE – perhaps the most serious and, for some, cryptic, programming language. It is Turing-complete and uses an advanced compiler called Brainfuck (I’m still totally serious, and by the way if you’ve never heard of LOLCATS, then you’re not spending nearly enough time on the Internets. See the funny button that looks like a cross at the top right of your IE? Click it or your desktop will turn into a colorful bouquet of dildos in about 8 seconds).

Let’s look at some examples of LOLCODE, taken from Wikipedia.

HAI
CAN HAS STDIO?
PLZ OPEN FILE "LOLCATS.TXT"?
    AWSUM THX
        VISIBLE FILE
    O NOES
        INVISIBLE "ERROR!"
KTHXBYE

Analysis of this complex code is beyond the scope of this article (the scientific value of which is undeniable) but I can tell you this: once you get comfortable with LOLCODE, you will forget all about C and Python. Occasionally you will still desire to use Perl because, well, Perl’s syntax is very close to LOLCODE’s.

Here’s another AWSUM example that introduces loops:

HAI
CAN HAS STDIO?
IM IN YR LOOP UPPIN YR VAR TIL BOTHSAEM VAR AN 10
    VISIBLE SUM OF VAR AN 1
IM OUTTA YR LOOP
KTHXBYE

The program above displays numbers from 1 through 10.

HAI
CAN HAS STDIO?
I HAS A VAR
IM IN YR LOOP
	UPZ VAR!!1
	VISIBLE VAR
	IZ VAR BIGR THAN 10? GTFO. KTHX
KTHX
KTHXBYE

seems to be another way of writing the same thing.

Heated discussions on the subject of LOLCODE, like the introduction of a NOM NOM NOM operator, are going on every day. I, for one, am proposing renaming the KTHXBYE operator to KTHXBAI.

You can find out more about LOLCODE at the official site: http://lolcode.com.

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