beer planet

I saw this joke posted on the Internet and decided to keep it for future reference. But… is it even a joke? I don't think so! It's the goddamn truth.

What a woman says, what she really means…

I need = I want
We need = I want
It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do whatever you want = You are going to pay for this later <--- this is so true!
We need to talk = I need to complain （Anyone who has seen the movie, Breakin’ All the Rules（Jamie Foxx , 2004）must remember We need to talk = Break up）
Sure…go ahead = I don’t want you to
I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!
You’re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
You’re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
I’m not emotional! And I’m not overreacting! = I have a severe case of PMS （PMS = Premenstrual Syndrome）
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = I want new curtains, new carpeting, new furniture, new wallpaper…
I need new shoes = the other 40 pairs are simply the wrong shade
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re really going to hate
I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V. （This usually means you have to wait longer enough, so be patient）
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me? = Too late, you’re dead
Yes = No
No = No
Maybe = No
I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry
I was wrong = Not as wrong as you
Do you like this recipe? = It’s easy to fix, so you’d better get used to it
Was that the baby? = Why don’t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep
I’m not yelling! = Of course I’m yelling, this is important!

What a man says, what he really means…

I’m hungry = I’m hungry
I’m tired = I’m tired
Do you want to go to a movie? = I’d eventually like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d eventually like to have sex with you
Would you like to dance? = I’d eventually like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = I’d eventually like to have sex with you
Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you
What’s wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psycho trauma are you going through now?
You look upset = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
Yes, I love your new hairstyle = I liked it better before
Yes, your haircut looks good = $50 and it doesn’t even look different!
I like the first dress you tried on better = Pick any freakin’ dress and let’s go!

Simon, this one is for you.

Jason Bourne Roommate Conflict Resolution - Watch more free videos

Finally, the snowstorms in Tahoe are raging! CNN posted this video of a reporter Kevin "Coop" Cooper in Kirkwood, CA resort, who talks about current weather conditions and gives some snow stats. Who's up for some snowboarding?!

Christmas Tree in Kharkov, Ukraine 2007-2008


I've never seen a tree this cool, even in US. Makes me kind of proud of the city where I grew up. Check it out.

Today Google announced the release of 29 translating robots that you can just add to your friends list in Google Talk. Then you can talk to them, getting instant translation in return. You can also enter a group chat and use the bots as translators between other people and yourself.

The only downside is that the Google Talk client doesn't seem to support group chats just yet, so you have to use the Gmail in-page one.

I think it's a brilliant idea if you ever deal with foreign languages. How many times have I forgotten a word while translating a paper or trying to talk to my mom back in Ukraine? A quick IM to the en2ru Google bot and problem solved.

On the other hand, if anyone understands Russian, check out this nonsense en2ru gave me:

For those who don't, it said something like "It's delaying Chzhechzhu" (which makes no sense at all). Granted, I did misspell 'is'.

Original announcement: http://googletalk.blogspot.com/2007/12/merry-christmas-god-jul-and.html